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Responding
to Feminist Criticisms
Feminism
has fought a long and difficult war against an entrenched male
power structure that treated women with fewer rights and privileges,
lower wages, and not so hidden contempt. In many ways, that war
continues.
With
this in mind, women have a right to look upon Chivalry-Now with
suspicion. Men too, for that matter. Fairness demands that we care
about the results of our movement, and a number of men in our surveys
expressed such concern. It is important that we respond to these
serious and well-meaning questions.
First
of all, Chivalry-Now is not an attempt to reinstate any sort of
male dominance in today's society. It calls for equality and recognition
that men are the helpmates of women, not their masters. It is not
based on an outmoded way of thinking that rejects the advances of
the Enlightenment or the Civil Rights Movement or Feminism. It accepts
them wholeheartedly.
Part
of the fear stems from chivalry being a strictly male code of behavior.
This fact can be somewhat misleading. The virtues of chivalry are
not restricted to males. Women can be just as strong, truthful,
helpful and virtuous as any male (and often tend to be better).
What makes chivalry specifically male is its delivery system. It
calls to males specifically by focusing on their needs. There is
nothing wrong or threatening in this. Nevertheless, the question
arises: Are we slighting women by leaving them out?
No
more than feminism does when it speaks directly to women and mobilizes
them for their own advancement. One could think of Chivalry-Now
as a counterpart to feminism, a philosophical partner that heals
the wounds of the male gender, just as feminism heals the wounds
of women.
What
makes these gender-specific philosophies valuable is that they each
aim at the betterment of both sexes by supporting the needs of their
respective genders. Men have benefited from feminism, and it is
hoped that women will benefit from Chivalry-Now. In fact, our new
form of chivalry would be something other than what it is if not
for feminism opening the eyes of men to their own wrongful domination,
and to women's equally valuable capabilities. Feminism has helped
men face some ugly truths about ourselves.
While
learning these truths was both right and important, not just for
women but for men, their deprecations resulted in a philosophical
and cultural deficit for men. We don't know who we are anymore!
We still get some of the old, misogynist messages vying for our
attention, while constantly being admonished not to comply. We look
around for something better, something that would benefit our relationships,
and find nothing readily available other beyond lengthy and costly
psychotherapy. We have not only lost our way, we see no other path
to adhere to.
Chivalry-Now
attempts to fill the gap. Chivalry-Now provides a voice that speaks
to the inner needs of men to help them comply with a world that
has changed significantly in the last hundred years. It gives them
a place of value in society, because it focuses on truth and courage,
honor and compassion, along with healthy, more courteous relationships
with women, and with men for that matter.
To
appreciate Chivalry-Now, a person has to understand the inner inspiration
of chivalry, while letting go of some of its ancient conclusions.
Is this possible? If is were not, then no branch of understanding
we enjoy today could still be connected to its natural roots. Indeed,
looking back at our beginnings gives us greater appreciation of
how and why we changed.
Men
have a right to a male code of behavior. We need it to lift ourselves
from the moral, civil and philosophical deficit we suffer from today.
And yes, women will benefit from having men who can relate to them
in a more comfortable fashion, recognizing our differences with
honest respect. Men who are inspired by Chivalry-Now will not be
predators, or dominators, or devalue a woman's labor, or not help
out with household chores, or express love with what appears to
be stony indifference. They will help to raise the children and
take efforts in modeling what it means to be a proper man. They
will not be obnoxiously aggressive, but will enjoy the free flow
of compassion in their lives. Knowing that humble self-improvement
raises the good for us all, they will develop their skills and talents
for better reasons than being number one.
As
much as we point out these well-meaning benefits, there may be people
so obsessed by the feminist directive, so identified with it, that
Chivalry-Now will always seem a threat, no matter what we say or
do. That's understandable considering the trials women had to face
for their well-deserved equality. We must never condemn these people-which
would be counterproductive anyway. The best we can do, as men who
value goodness, is prove in our daily lives that we are worthy of
our female partners in life. We can also learn not to become so
obsessed by Chivalry-Now that we close our own perspective as to
what is good and true in others.
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