Readers' Comments

(The following were taken from emails, letters and forum postings by visitors to the CN web site. Some of these people have stayed to be come Companions.)

I must write how refreshing it is to read about Chivalry-Now. I completed the survey and have forwarded the completed form via mail.
    I discovered this site by accident and am pleased to have read the various articles on this site and have read posts within the Forum. I never thought anyone was interested in Chivalry/Warrior tradition as a contemporary social code of conduct.
    So, for what it is worth coming from this former 54 year young cynic, I am pleased that everyone who is participating within Chivalry-Now has opened my eyes to my own folly and admit error.
    Thank you, for demonstrating that hedonism is not endorsed, by even a small number of individuals, as a way of life. Thank you, for proving to me that there are honorable people left in this world. Warrior/Knights who are willing to proceed into the fires of adversity and be proved true.
    Again, "Thank You."
--M

I am (woman's name deleted). I live in Virginia. I am 29-years-old. I was led to this site when I was considering getting a tattoo. But I only wanted one, a perfect one, that spoke to me and told a small story about who I am and what I believe. So I typed into a search engine: Protecting The Weak, and I found The Code of Male Ethics. I felt something very special as I read it, maybe my own awakening, and I felt compelled to forward it to every man I knew, and a few women too. I believe myself to be a strong woman, strong enough to admit the differences between men and women without feeling weak, and without being afraid that our differences will hold me back. I believe diversity can be beautiful and profound, when respected. Thank you so much for this site. I want the book. I want to hold it in my hands, highlight dozens of lines that touch my soul, make me think of what life is about and where we [human beings] are supposed to be and go. I want to pass this book out to all my most cherished friends and family, hoping they will want to do the same, and help better a world that is selfish, jealous and cruel.
     Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Chivalry is not dead!
--MH

I applaud you for this beautiful work that you are doing. So excited to see and read your website. I have been called to help lead the balancing of the divine feminine and masculine in the world. I am starting with women first to call forth their divine goddess nature and reawaken themselves. I have been searching for enlightened men who honor the warrior code. I know that in honoring each other as divine men and women that we will find the balance that was lost and achieve the peace that we seek. Look forward to working with you in the future.
Blessings to you!
--S

Hello everyone... I was just looking for articles, books, modern examples of the lost art of chivalry and I was pleasantly surprised to find you! And a forum to boot....Very good stuff for all of us, men and women to embrace and make a part of our everyday interactions with each other! The world is definitely in need of a history lesson and a rebirth of respect for one another.
--K

Just wanted to say hi. I'm one of (name deleted) colleagues, and he invited me to come have a look, so I've spent some time browsing tonight. I appreciate what you're doing here. Everyone has such a thoughtful point of view.
--E

I'd like to say hello to all my fellow idealists in the pursuit of our higher cause. I stumbled upon this site entirely by accident and am quite glad of that. I never imagined there to be a community online that held similar ideals to the ones I have always held.
--Guest

Chivalry may not be dead, but the code of chivalry may be. The people at chivalrynow.net believe that building a code of chivalry helps us sift through this miasma and examine our own beliefs.
    Chivalry tells us, quite realistically, that we each need our own personal code of behavior. We need to know exactly what we believe, what values and virtues are important to us and then use that information as a reference for the way we live.
    Chivalrynow.net makes time-honored suggestions as to what those virtues might be, but the choice is ultimately ours. We are called to make our own code of behavior.
--Christopher Hoitash / Staff Writer, EchoOnline, Eastern Michigan University

Chivalry-Now has been very positive in my life. [It] combines chivalry with the warrior spirit, offers a practical guide to living in a difficult and challenging world. It has taught me to embrace a moral/ethical code to serve as a path toward personal development, combining bravery with gentleness, developing a fierce compassion for the welfare of others, and emphasizing self mastery, will, and patience as well as courage and integrity.
Most Respectfully,
--M

What a great blessing to find such a site. I have always believed there is a higher standard in this life to strive for, something that seems lost in most of the men I know. I think it would do many good to take to heart what I have read here. I look forward to expanding my horizons through this site as we can always better ourselves in this life. We must be impeccable with our word and strive to always do our best.
Cheers friends,
--WR

Chivalry-Now has certainly changed me. I am an incredibly shy person, but here (CN Forum) I have opened up the most with strangers on a cause that I fully support, believe in, and try to live daily. It has opened the window for me to see that there are others out there who are trying to make an impact on the world, and an impact for the better. It has given me many insights and wonderful concepts to think about and reflect on.
    As far as my interest of chivalry goes, it began when I was a young girl. I always enjoyed knights in shining armor and such, but it wasn't until I was twelve and I read The Once and Future King that I really grasped a hold of the concept of chivalry. Ever since, I have really been interested in it. I believe I was drawn to it simply because of the kind of person that I am--I make mistakes, of course, but I mostly try to do the right thing, and I always treat others with respect. One thing I always felt, however, was that I was alone in my belief that chivalry lives as long as it remains within us all.
--B

It's a nice site. Respect for you.
--Guest

I have been reading through everyone's posts and I am happy and amazed to find fellow people who have the same values and standards as I do. I believe in this vision of a world with morals and hope. I am honored to meet you all and look forward to trying to make this vision a reality.
--KM

What a treasure I have found here! I have already added a link to Chivalry-Now on the Links page of my own web site.
    It is a pleasure to be here among you, and I look forward to spending a lot of time here.
    Thank you all for the warm welcome! I have had more time to explore more of this site and it appears to be everything I had hoped it would be.
    I have completed the survey and it is now in the mailbox awaiting pickup.
    I am a big believer in the idea that Nothing changes until the culture changes. What you gentlemen are doing is taking action to actually shift the cultural in the direction of chivalry.
    When you stop and think about the ramifications of what such a cultural shift would mean, it would do infinitely more good than all those "feel good" social programs could ever hope to do. Think of all the social ills we are faced with - crime, corruption, the illegitimate birth rate, filth spewing from the "entertainment industry", etc. Every single one of those, and more, would be instantly cleared up if the ideals of chivalry were completely embraced by everyone. That, of course, is an impossible goal due to the inherently evil nature of Man; however, chivalry's effect is proportional to the number of people adopting it. In fact, it is really disproportional - even those who do not adopt it are positively affected by it.
    My thanks again to all the effort that went into creating this site!
--SM

Good day all,
My name is (name deleted), and I've been lurking on the main site for a while now trying to soak in as much as I could. I've been interested in pursuing ideas which I could incorporate into a code to help me live a better and more noble life. The Trusts and writings presented within Chivalry-Now are excellent and are an invaluable part of any man's lifestyle. I'm thankful that I'm not the only man left in the world who believes there should be a code of ethics and behavior by which a man ought live. Thank you all for keeping such values close to your hearts. I ask that you let me know if there are any programs or ideas floating around to help spread this message to others and also to help increase the discipline and understanding necessary to incorporating such values into a sin-tarnished life.
--B

I have only discovered this website today - and am much encouraged. I've been on a bit of an inward journey - knowing there are higher and more noble ideals to live by than what is most commonly thought of as 'normal'.
    An acquaintance said to me a few months ago - regarding entering into a romantic relationship - to 'never settle for anything less than chivalry.' That rang true within me - and has come back to my remembrance the last few days. I know there are true men in this world - as I am a true woman.
    I seek to delve into what it means to really be a woman - as well as understand real-life characteristics I hope to know in a real, noble man.
--A

I stumbled across this site while researching for a string of papers on Chivalry that I intend to write, and subsequently post on MySpace. I found it somewhat amusing that during preparing to attempt to raise awareness, education, and the like regarding chivalry, that I found a site and community whose purpose seems to be just that. 'Well played, old man.'
--E

(taken from professional blog)

Chivalry was once the foundation of the male code of ethics. What is a man supposed to be these days? How do you transform testosterone and male strength into something other than violent aggression and sexual aggression, in its milder forms, bullying, meanness and contempt for women except as sexual objects?
    Maybe we need Chivalry now. Dean Jacques thinks so. He writes about Modern Chivalry and sees Chivalry-Now as a way for men to reclaim their souls. Think of Chivalry-Now as the counterpoint to the feminism movement, a philosophical partner that heals the wounds of the male gender, just as feminism heals the wounds of women.
    Chivalry-Now provides a voice that speaks to the inner needs of men to help them comply with a world that has changed significantly in the last hundred years. It gives them a place of value in society, because it focuses on truth and courage, honor and compassion, along with healthy, more courteous relationships with women, and with men for that matter.
    I like what he had to say about this Age of Distraction:

"We don't need another distraction from doing what we have to do. As a society, it's time we grow up. We have to take away the glamour of doing what is wrong. We have to stop rewarding anti-social behavior. We have to develop a culture that is more humane. We have to start with the choices we make every day, and not allow ourselves to be distracted from the truth. We need the moral integrity to withdraw our support, no matter how passive, of what is wrong."

So many men and boys are yearning for something more, something that validates their very maleness. Seems to me, nothing tops chivalry and the bravery of women and children first.
--J

It is a beautiful spring morning here in England. I have just read through your breathtaking website and I can hardly believe my eyes. What you are doing here is revolutionary.
    I agree that over many ages now the concept of maleness has been a problematic one, and that the reasons for that are multitudinous and debatable. I have also known my entire life that true manhood exists, and that it can only be discovered, rediscovered by true men, and honorably taught by example.
    I wholeheartedly support your efforts and ideals, and if I am welcome I would be honored to go forward with you in learning and discovery. I am entirely committed to what you propose.

I'm a life-long feminist. I make no bones about it
    So, what am I doing here, a part of Chivalry-Now: The Code of Male Ethics?
    It's simple. I have heard it voiced so many times, that no matter how women think that they can see in what ways gender relations could be improved, they just cannot do it alone.
    But still, there is written into our socialization as women the expectation that we will be responsible for the behavior of the men that we have contact with. It is known as the double-bind.
    There is the "well why doesn't she just leave him" question aimed at the battered woman. Why is it her responsibility rather than the abusers to improve that situation? There is the "well she'll whip him into shape once they're married" joke aimed at the bride-to-be. The husband-to-be is treated condescendingly like a naughty child rather than a responsible partner in marriage and his spouse is deftly set up as the one to be blamed if he doesn't behave. And there is the "well, he had such a stifling/overbearing/indulgent (add your own favorite insult here) mother," once again taking the responsibility off Him and placing it firmly onto Her.
    And then I discovered Chivalry-Now. Without doubt this is a group of men who are aware of the disservice that has been done them and the women that they see around them, and as a part of their male code, they are committed to taking responsibility for the man's part in the exploration and improvement of gender relations. How could I not be interested?
    Chivalry-Now has been described here as a male form of the women's movement; not something that will benefit men to the detriment of women, but something that will benefit society as a whole.
    And that is just exactly how I view feminism.
--M

It was with great interest that I discovered your web site, Chivalry-Now. It spoke very eloquently to me, and resonated on a subject that I have long considered to be of utmost importance.
    I would like to commend you and encourage your work in this area. I truly believe one of the things most lacking in today's society is the entire concept of honor. With a fully developed sense of honor, we would not be experiencing the traumatic difficulties that we all suffer on a daily basis.
    Please consider me an ardent supporter. Please continue your efforts, and kindly keep me informed of your progress.
--KS

I was amazed to find a site that described many of the thoughts and feelings I had about our world today and our (man's) place in it. Our greed and moral values not only have been lost; we live in a world where it is encouraged for the sake of making money. We hear the words "honor", "honesty", "integrity" and others thrown around by people who have none of them. We look around and wonder why our children seem to be so misguided, but who and what do they have as examples? We must look at ourselves first as parents and realize that the leading example for our children's lives is us. We cannot be so concerned with changing the world that we forget to change ourselves first. I could go on and on about this, but I think it best to keep this introduction small at first. I'm sure we will get into some lively discussions on the Forum in the future. I hope we can draw many new members to our little group and start to affect change all over a little bit at a time.
    Good luck with the book. I look forward to reading the full manuscript when it is complete. This is a great site and a solid concept. I hope we can make it grow in the minds and heart of men.
--M

Thank you for inspiring me with your website. I had not realized until now how much my own personal philosophy fit with the concepts of chivalry. I would be interested in learning more about your Companionship.
    Thank you for the inspiration and information,
--D

I have looked at the website you mentioned/recommended. WOW! I truly find that content absolutely fascinating!
    Does this type of thinking and idea sharing exist solely on the web? Are there actual groups that get together to discuss these issues and ideas?
    As I had said before, I was only able to spend a few minutes with the website
so far, but that content is very enlightening!
    As soldiers, we are expected to follow a similar code. However, with the pace we keep, our operational tempo, and the distractions of everyday life, the tenets of that code are often lost in the shuffle or even forgotten.
    To see those ideas expressed and laid out on your website is very refreshing. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to view it.
    I'd be interested in any other information you can send. Thanks again for your time and assitance.

This is the first internet forum I have ever participated in and I have to admit, when Dean asked me to lend all of you my thoughts, I was skeptical. However, after spending virtually the entire day with the website, I have to say this is some of the most refreshing and enlightening content I have seen in some time.
    I have been a United States Army Officer for almost 11 years now and believe that the United States Army demands of its officers exactly what we were taught from the very beginning... a sense of DUTY, HONOR, LOYALTY, INTEGRITY and devotion to our COUNTRY.
--T

May I have permission to reprint the 12 Trusts with the logo and frame to hang on my wall?
    (From the Forum) The work [Dragonheart] may be fictional but "The Old Code" rings true and is very applicable to day:

Quote:

The Right can never die,
If one man still recalls.
The Words are not forgot,
If one voice speaks them clear.
The Code forever shines,
If one heart holds it bright.

I believe this describes Sir Dean and Chivalry-Now to a "T."
--J

(Exerpt from blog:)

"What is modern chivalry anyway? Chivalry spells out certain ethical standards that are needed to foster the development of manhood. Men are called to be: truthful, loyal, courteous to others, helpmates to women, supporters of justice, and defenders of the weak. They are also expected to avoid scandal. I came across this on Chivalry-Now The Code of Male Ethics."
    "Here's my challenge: I challenge all the men out there to prove me wrong. I challenge men to keep chivalry alive, to be all of the above."
--D

(A blog discussing the act of cheating in Dungeons & Dragons. When someone trivialized cheating and berated honor, he got this reply:)

    "Read http://www.chivalrynow.net and you will learn. Many people have codes of honor, particularly members of the military (of whom many are D&D players). I have a code of honor, and I consider myself honorable. I do not cheat, and it is because of my honor."
--?

One thing I try to follow is chivalry. Most people think that it is dead, however I think it is just barely surviving. Chivalry teaches men to be truthful, loyal, courteous to others, helpmates to women, supporters of justice, and defenders of the weak. They are also taught to avoid scandal. Guys check it out at: http://www.chivalrynow.net/articles/chivalry.htm. If there is anything else you want to know, ask.
--M

Since hearing about your book, Chivalry Now - The Cult of Male Virtue, I have been looking forward to reading it.
    To me Knighthood is not a mere hobby or interest - it is a holy and sacred vocation. When I hear that the book is published, I will be one of the first in line to buy it.
--S

Greetings! My name is (name deleted). I just wanted to tell you how much I love your site, truly a job well done.
    I am 16 so I get to see the youth of today and I am 'somewhat' disappointed, comparing their behaviour to that of the men who lived in the Middle Ages and had a code of Chivalry. Doing a google search and following links about Chivalry and how it fits into todays society. I stumbled across your fine site and I know it will assist me in making my own code of Chivalry, thus hopefully making me a better man. Again well done and thanks.
    If it wasn't for your awesome site, Chivalry would still be less defined and a distant dream.
--J

I am interested in more info about Chivalry-Now. Are there workshops?
Thanks.
--R

I am very interested in knowing more and becoming a Companion.....
Thank you,
--W

(A blog from myspace.com, taken from Google:)

"DID YOU EVEN READ IT??? nora. Dec 10 2006 12:10P yeah, I do look at this site (chivalrynow.net). I like what its saying about life and stuff."
--?

Greetings Gentleman,
I love your insights, and find this subject most urgent. In particular, for our up and coming youth. Please, if you have more resources that you care to share with me concerning this subject, please forward them to: (email address deleted).
    I personally would like to write a book about chivalry in modern society. Perhaps I might be able to spark the consciousness of this world about our obligations of good moral character, especially with respect to our women.
    I hear cries everyday in the form of so called independence and equality, when just underneath the surface is the suffering from a past filled with brokenness and shameful truths.
    Fatherless, immature, and dysfunctional homes have produced chains of hereditary behavior filled with the same seed of fear. This fear derived from failed family life, relationships, abusive childhoods, etc..., makes it a necessity for women to be assertive/defensive by nature just to maintain themselves in a society of less than men.
    This situation is not improving by any means; even children's movies are beginning to echo this same misguided theme like, "Happily Never After". I see this issue has become a social norm, and it [will take] a combination of many different factors to counteract this outcome.
    Again, thanks for indulging me your time and I hope that you might respond soon.
    Live well and give well.
--Guest

(Newspaper article from The Day: Chivalry Has A New Champion, published March 11, 2007 )

...Nevertheless, one presentation this winter delivered at Harmony House has received public attention, mostly through the man who gave it, and his Web site. His name is Dean Jacques, he lives in Chester and his mission is reviving the ideals of chivalry as a model for male behavior.
    Chivalry Now, The Code of Male Ethicsis the title of a book written by Jacques, who, according to his Web site biography, has a 25-year background in social services and lately his own professional writing and Web site design business.
    "Compared with the rise of feminism, the state of male ethics has revealed its deficiency," says Jacques, who offers pictures of himself in medieval and knightly garb on the Web site. "What masculine ideals we inherited from chivalry have been disconnected from their roots by the culture shock of the Industrial Revolution. Today's Information Age only propagates that separation further."
    Jacques, who studied English literature at the University of Hartford, posts a questionnaire about chivalry, then and now, on his site, and has compiled data for the first 150 respondents, 65 of them men and 85, women. The ages of the respondents were not available.
Question No. 9 asks: Would you personally like to see men act more chivalrous?
    "The majority of women want men to be more courteous, but in a manly fashion," writes Jacques of the results. "They want men to be strong, unselfish, self-disciplined and reliable."
    " ... The men are more difficult to categorize," he reports. "They seem almost innately attracted to chivalry, and many feel that the chivalric ideals are an active part of their lives or inclinations. However, they are more cautious responding to the idealism that chivalry calls for, probably due to many factors, such as past disappointments, cynicism, disbelief that there can be a significantly positive role for men, beyond the drudgeries of work."
    One illuminating finding was that men want women to be more chivalrous, too, even though, as Jacques writes, "chivalry is defined as a male ethic."
    "Some feel that chivalry is dependent on women's attitudes," he writes, "complaining that women make it difficult to act chivalrous by rejecting such acts as opening a door, etc."
    It can, indeed, be a rude and demeaning world out there, and Jacques is to be commended for his crusade to instill, again, codes of ethical and compassionate behavior. Harmony House is to be commended, as well, for opening a door for him.
    This is the opinion of Steven Slosberg. (Reporter.)

Dear Dean,
    Bravo!
    I wish CN well & growth.
(Note on card received, unsigned, from a
Silent Knight, Quad Cities, IL)